April 17th, 2020
I asked Ganesh where he would like to talk:
Earth hangs high in the star-smattered dark. The lunar regolith beneath my feet shifts, its microscopically sharp edges grinding into my under-calloused soles. The mound of dust beneath me is dyed a deep red, which is slowly expanding. Unfettered cosmic radiation burns through my skin, frying my DNA.
As Laura bounds up to me in a sporty orange-and-white, well-insulated spacesuit, I realize – all too late – that I should’ve spent my spacebucks on something more protective. Gold-plated underpants seemed a good choice at the time, but her sour grimace only serves to confirm my regrets.
“This is literally the worst place you could’ve picked for an interview,” her voice cracks and hisses into her intercom. I press my ear up to her helmet to discern the words as she repeats them louder and angrier.
“I thought it would be atmospheric,” I mouth as my saliva begins to boil on my tongue.
Luckily, she can lip-read, “There’s literally NO ATMOSPHERE here.”
“Well, next time YOU pick the location.” Happy to get in one last good snipe, I lapse into unconsciousness.
I awake days later in a haze.
Laura Mae: What inspired you to enter the world of writing?
G.M. Nair: I owe my love of stories and writing to a bunch of things. Firstly, my grandfather, who always encouraged me to write and was a bit of a poet himself is by far my biggest influence, at least in terms of pushing me into writing. Beyond that, the wealth of stories across different media that I consumed as a kid have inspiring me to try my hand at creating. Star Wars, The Lord of The Rings, Bone, Doctor Who, I’m basically trying to chase the feeling that these properties inspired in me. And if I’m the one who has to make that new property, so be it. Like a heroin addict who resolves to make his own drugs. But slightly less depressing.
L: How long have you been writing for?
G: Oh, I’d say I’ve been writing since I was 10 years old. But I don’t think that counts, because I don’t want anyone to read anything from back then. So let’s just say… 3 years.
L: What are you currently working on?
G: I’m currently working on a whole host of things. I’ve got a sci-fi YA book called Beacon that I’m slowly banging out in my spare time about a lowly scavenger on a dead planet who finds episodes of a space opera television show that reveal unfortunate truths about an ancient war. I’m also working on a television pilot with my writing partner Andrew Cannizzaro about the travails of ordinary folk in an outlandish superhero world. But my main project is, of course, the sequel to my first novel Duckett & Dyer: Dicks For Hire. It’s called The One-Hundred Percent Solution and should be out by early next year! (if I’m lucky)
L: Are there any books or authors who inspire your work?
G: The obvious one that comes to mind is Douglas Adams, but he has such incredibly big shoes to fill. Literally. The guy was like 6’5” or something. But he did leave an indelible mark on me in terms of science fiction and relateable yet philosophical humor, so anything by be can probably be traced back to him. I am also fond of comic book writers Jonathan Hickman (for the scale and intricacy of his stories) and Chip Zdarsky (for the humor and soul of his), so I’d like to think I dance between the raindrops of both of them.
L: What has been the most challenging for you so far?
G: Marketing. Marketing. Marketing. I’m not a good self-promoter and am highly averse to sounding like a shill. So I’m really stuck on that. If anyone has top tips for me, I’d appreciate it.
L: What would you say is your favorite book or series of all time? Why?
G: Avoiding Douglas Adams for a bit, I’d have to say Murder On The Orient Express. Man, that book has everything. Colorful characters, an interesting mystery and a concept-breaking solution. It’s been done to death, so most might not find it fresh these days, but it’s really banging.
L: Are there any regrets you have or anything you wish you knew sooner?
G: I still don’t know how to swim. I think that’s pretty regrettable.
L: In a brief statement, have you self-published or traditionally published? What was your experience?
G: I self-published Duckett & Dyer, but not for a lack of trying in the trad pub world. I sent out nearly 100 query letters to as many agents who even tangentially represented the genre,but didn’t get a solid bite. I’m not bitter. That’s the business, and the business is focused on finding the next 30 different variations of The Hunger Games, or something with the title “[Noun] of [Noun] and [Noun]”. Okay. Maybe I’m a little bitter. But I actually enjoyed self-publishing my book. It gave me a chance to have complete control over the product and put in a bunch of fun bits and jokes you might not find in a trad pub novel. Still having a rough go with the marketing, though. I’m just not good at that.
L: What are you currently reading?
G: I’m currently in the opening pages of ‘The 7 ½ Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle’ by Stuart Turton. It’s a real interesting concept and a fantastic execution so far. I’m really interested to see where this goes.
L: What genre do you read?
G: Most authors say they can’t read their own genre. But they’re losers. I ONLY read my own genres. Sci-fi, Fantasy, Mystery etc. If you’re gonna riff on your genre with jokes, you’d better be well-versed.
L: Any songs or type of music you need to listen to when you write?
G: I need silence. The voices in my head are loud enough.
L: What’s a word or phrase that people say that always irritates you?
G: “Would of” or “could of” instead of “would’ve” or “could’ve”. Sure, it sounds fine when you’re talking, but it makes me think less of you on paper.
L: Who is your favorite literary character and why?
G: Harry Potter, but only in Order of the Phoenix, because he was an angsty, dumb asshole to everyone and I loved it.
L: Where would you say you get most of your inspiration?
G: I get inspired mostly by movies, comic books, and novels that I consume. Some would call me ‘a plagiarist’. But I like to think of myself as ‘the best plagiarist’.
L: For aspiring writers out there, what would be the best advice you want them to know?
G: Don’t listen to randos on the internet who think they have good writing advice. Odds are, they’re just a bozo typing with one hand on the keyboard and the other wiping Cheeto dust off his sweatpants.
G.M. Nair is a crazy person who should never be taken seriously. Despite possessing both a Bachelor’s and Master’s Degree in Aerospace Engineering and a job as an Aviation and Aerospace Consultant, he writes comedy for the stage and screen, and maintains the blog MakeMomMarvel.Com. Now he is making the leap into the highly un-lucrative field of independent book publishing.
Duckett & Dyer: Dicks For Hire is his first novel, and in a world with a fair and loving god, it would be his last. Alas, he tends to continue.
G.M. Nair lives in New York City and in a constant state of delusion.
Duckett & Dyer: Dicks For Hire – Michael Duckett is fed up with his life. His job is a drag, and his roommate and best friend of fifteen years, Stephanie Dyer, is only making him more anxious with her lazy irresponsibility. Things continue to escalate when they face the threat of imminent eviction from their palatial 5th floor walk-up and find that someone has been plastering ads all over the city for their Detective Agency.
The only problem is: He and Stephanie don’t have one of those.
Despite their baffling levels of incompetence, Stephanie eagerly pursues this crazy scheme and drags Michael, kicking and screaming, into the fray only to find that they are way out of their depth. They stumble upon a web of missing people that are curiously linked to a sexually audacious theoretical physicist and his experiments with the fabric of space-time. And unless Michael and Stephanie can put their personal issues aside and fix the multi-verse, the concept of existence itself may, ironically, no longer exist.
Buy it here!