Bad, Laura..

She opened her eyes to see painted clouds on a blue ceiling. She rubbed her eyes and looked around the room. She was in her old bedroom from when she was a girl. Everything seemed so slow, like it was playing a memory in slow motion. She slid off the small bed that she questioned on how she even fit on it. She looked down at her feet and she’s wearing her black dressy shoes that she wore when her family went to fancy places. She also had on her black frilly dress that she remembers she wore once when the dog they had died and they had a funeral in the backyard for him.

7 Sentences; 6 of them begin with ‘She’.


This is the kind of mindless editing that I’m doing for my entire 60k+ word book. Granted, I think I was more aware of this later on in the story, but MY GOD. Some might just say I’m being nit-picky or obsessive, but this bothers me more than anything else. I know my tenses are really bad too, but this is right up there with it. It just baffles me how I wrote this X-amount of time ago, and just from editing, I see this and think a 5th grader wrote it. Anyways, just be comforted of the idea that the final re-write will not contain things like this. Thankfully. ##

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